RS300 393 - adventures of a boat and her incompetent skipper

Have you been the victim of internet fraud?

"His silly little fat face lit up with joy. It was heartbreaking"

Don’t worry. You’re not alone.

I’ve been targeted many times. Many years ago, Chris Taibu, the nephew of a millionaire farmer who had been murdered in Zimbabwe, asked me to help him discreetly move his millions out of the country. Of course, I was eager to assist, but sadly it was not to be.

This weekend I took part in my 3rd RS300 Inland Championships. 

The 2014 Inlands at Grafham, my first RS300 event, turned out to be a humbling experience as I followed the fleet, discovering that fitness, ability, agility and speed were required to race RS300’s and that I possessed none of these attributes. It was also the first time I got to meet my sailing hero, the legendary and talented Steve Bolland.

I'm sorry this is a long rambling blog but I must get this off my chest.

Dear Steve Rooster,

Without wishing to be a snitch, you ought to be aware that Ambassador Ken was nowhere to be seen for this morning’s race. He might be excused if he was busy talking down a traumatised fighter pilot who happens to be at the controls of a Boeing 747 because the flight crew are stricken down with food poisoning “Shirley you can’t be serious?”, but his Garmin app has given the game away.

It’s a chilly, windy Saturday in January. The breeze is 20-25 knots and forecast to increase over the next couple of hours.  

Here’s some advice. 

Avoid so-called “runners” between the months of January and March because this is the start of “Marathon season”. We’ve been doing a spot of jogging and are acting like puffed up little pigeons, full of testosterone and other artificial hormones.

Sunday January 20th, 2019. Highcliffe Sailing Club Icicle Series - Races 3 & 4

A few months ago the RS300 relocated from Christchurch Sailing Club to the Council dinghy park on Mudeford Quay. It’s closer to home and nearer the sea; but sailing from down here means fewer visits to the Sailing Club and less contact with my friends.

Dear Steve Rooster,

If you’re reading this blog I assume it’s because you’ve received my application to become a “Brand Ambassador” for 2019 and are interested in my “online presence” and marketing potential.

This morning, my Rooster toestraps, Polilite mainsheet, some elderly Rooster clothing, which, incidentally, needs replacing, especially where it chafes my nipples, and I, took the RS300 for our 1st race of the year.

There has been a short break between blogs while Ela & I undertook a couple of race duties and resumed our running careers. My running mornings are typically spent wheezing, farting and falling over, contrasting with my sailing mornings which are typically spent wheezing, farting and falling over.

A few things happened since the last blog. 

Our club changed the sailing instructions to encourage more spectacular collisions on the race course.